Child Laws

Divorce often involves working through the very differences that split the parents apart in the first place. Unfortunately, the child(ren) involved most often find themselves at the center of these differences. Where the child(ren) will live and how much contact each parent will be granted are what child custody laws focus on. Typically, these decisions are the source of major disputes.

A family law attorney is familiar with the laws surrounding child custody, and may use terminology you are not familiar with such as “best interests,” “change of circumstances,” “UCCJEA,” and “alienation.”  You should ask your family law attorney, sometimes called a divorce attorney, questions when you hear terminology you do not understand. Asking questions will help you understand the situation and what you will need to show the Court in order to achieve the best results for you and your child(ren).

The term “best interests” will be of key concern in most child custody proceedings. The Court wants to make its decision based on what is best for the child(ren), and not what is best for the parties. Understanding this is critical to the success of your case.

Perhaps the exact opposite of “best interests” is the concept of “alienation.”   Accusations of parental “alienation” (one parent trying to poison the child(ren)’s mind and relationship with the other parent in a vicious attempt to hurt the other parent) are quite common.  A true alienating parent is motivated by their hatred of the other party, and not by any love for their child(ren).  Their actions put their goal of hurting the other party ahead of the happiness and “best interests” of the child(ren).

Proving an allegation of parental “alienation” can be particularly difficult, since each parent’s relationship with the child(ren) are both complex and dynamic.  In addition, when a parent is under the emotional stress of a divorce and not seeing their child(ren) as often as they really want to, it is common to perceive these actions of the other parent as “alienation” when in fact they are not.  Further, when “alienation” occurs, it may be intentional, and the “alienating” parent can purposefully take all steps to avoid any evidence of their actions to be presented before the Court.  Fortunately, intentional “alienation” is quite rare, and the belief that the other parent is “alienating” the child(ren) is most often a misunderstanding brought on by the stress of the divorce process.

A good family law attorney will often suggest counselling to a family involved in divorce. The Courts usually have a list of courses available to help all parties deal with the parenting issues raised by the divorce and are highly receptive to requests for orders that make “alienation” more difficult to accomplish.  The Courts are not sympathetic to any parent who tries to “alienate” the child(ren) from the other parent.

While not seeing eye to eye is normal for both parents, representation by a respected family law attorney will prove very valuable in protecting your interests in seeing your child(ren) and your child(ren)’s interests in seeing you, whether through negotiation or through litigation.